Availability Statement (Press Release)

Cdv2 In response to popular demand (Montag, Walrus and ..?) I wish to say that if nominated by acclaim on the SST ticket, I will adopt a McClellan like stance of restrained pomposity and await the verdict of the states.  He got 44.95% of the popular vote without ever making a speech.  Hmmm.  Platform to follow.  pl

I have corrected the number on Mac’s share of the popular vote after receiving the counsel of a friend.  I had not realized that he actually won three states.  I think that "The Young Napoleon" might have won if Early had been victorious at Cedar Creek and Sherman had not captured Atlanta before the general election.  In spite of his statements to the contrary I think he would have eventually made some sort of arrangement with the Confederate States that would have made permanent something less than Lincoln’s war aims.


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31 Responses to Availability Statement (Press Release)

  1. Jack Kemp says:

    If it was chess, this country could well stand to have you move across the board and knock Hadley off the table. Thanks.

  2. Jim Schmidt says:

    I think Fred Thompson already has the market cornered on the McClellan presidential campaign strategy.

  3. Jim Schmidt says:

    The McClellan strategy didn’t work out so well for General of the Army Douglas MacArthur either.
    IMO, your Return on Success©®™ ratio employing this approach is quite low. Not as low as some others using ROS©®™ in the current political climate, but low enough.
    Could I recommend fishmongering instead?
    Similar line of work but more honest.

  4. Were I a US citizen rather than (or in addition to) a subject of HM QE II…

  5. kim says:

    if anyone should happen to search these comments archives they’ll find my first call for “lang in ’08” way back, more than a year i believe.
    i made at least one other, before i acknowledged walrus’ inevitable recognition of the gentleman’s singular suitedness for the job.
    (i dunno, words come out that seem to work. you all know what i mean.)
    so anyway, that’s at least three supporters, you’re on a roll, sir, and the platform is in here somewhere too.
    mcclellan didn’t have viral internet.

  6. Mad Dogs says:

    Though Dick Cheney and I share this adage, we have very different perspectives on its true meaning:
    “If nominated, I will run. If elected, I will hide.”

  7. ked says:

    as long as there’s plenty of “Grant’s Courage” lubricating the platform, even defeat could be sweet.
    I can hear it now… “if nominated, I will not stop drinking whiskey…”

  8. TR Stone says:

    I think Gen. DP has his eye on the military position for a run on (for) the “Maison Blanc”.

  9. Charles I says:

    Not a citizen so I can’t vote.
    I am learning your views on matters didactic, but if you don’t win, the ticket or election, Col., wouldja you bequeath us a rather largish Prof. Lang’s Take on the State of the Union and the Planet, Synthesized as I Saw It and Know It to Be? (declassified, annotated edition)?
    I am certain you have a lifetime of education, experience and critical thought that the World would benefit from were it put down in writing – visible ink, please. The student, the acolyte, the fan & Nosey Parker (and just who the hell is Nosey Parker, anyway?) want to know what you KNOW and think, in one handy, weighty compendium.
    The Drunken 3 Level 3D Invisible Chess Game for Dummies & PHD’s, perhaps?

  10. Cold War Zoomie says:

    A more recent example of someone runing with no platform and *winning* is Arnold the Governator.
    It can be done – if you have big muscles, shiny teeth and an action hero movie resume.

  11. psd says:

    well, you have my vote (from California, no less). I think the country was in much better shape when we had presidents from Virginia. (but i’m sure that someone will point out an egregious exemption to that rule).

  12. Steve says:

    I live in Iowa, and would be pleased to work as a ward or precinct captain on your behalf, much as my Chicago uncles kept their city jobs by doing the same for Mr. Daley. I could be the key man on the ground for the caucuses.
    Have you considered a running mate? Current talk is that every presidency now needs a Rasputin or Cheney.
    I hear that Joshua Bolton is casting about for a return to public life. Perhaps the two of you could smooth out whatever your differences and reap the electoral rewards as a team.
    All kidding aside, you would make–at least–as good a president as any of the current crop, most likely much better.

  13. Montag says:

    The SST Party will need a Party Symbol. The Republicans have the Elephant and the Democrats have the Donkey all locked up. Teddy Roosevelt had the Bull Moose. Perhaps an animal native to Virginia? How about the ever-elusive Snark?
    I want to be a Tyrannicide
    And with my Colonel stand
    Upon a platform of common sense
    With a manure shovel in my hand!

  14. DH says:

    In light of names like Deaniacs and Fred Heads, what would everyone think of Lang’s Loyalists?

  15. Cold War Zoomie says:

    “Grant’s Courage”
    Grant’s Scotch Whisky
    That phrase reminds me of when an Air Force buddy and I started a very, very long day by emptying a bottle of Grant’s around lunchtime in front of King’s College, Cambridge, UK. It ended with me jogging and stumbling 7 miles back to base at the wee hours of the morning while my cohort was taking a small nap in a pub’s parking lot. In between was a beer/real ale festival, some wine, Jack and cokes, and pints of lager in some pub where we lost each other.
    “Courage” would not be the first word that pops into my mind for that day.

  16. kim says:

    two more verses and it’s a hit.
    i was thinking something like, “the other pat”.

  17. Walrus says:

    Col. Lang, you could stand on a Groucho Marx platform ( I wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member) – and hunt the rest of us down to serve in your administration.
    I modestly offer myself (cough, cough) as Secretary of Defence. I will replace the American Eagle with the Australian Wedgetail Eagle on all insignia and make Kangaroo fillets a compulsory part of the military diet.
    Other dietary changes will include the introduction of the infantry breakfast – (a drink of water and a look around). The millions this will save will be used to bribe the tribes in Iraq and Afghanistan to either make peace of fight wars on our behalf.
    What more harm could I do that the current incumbent hasn’t already done?

  18. W. Patrick Lang says:

    I was thinking of a “shmoo” as an uncampaign mascot.
    Reminds me of a mongolian barbecue party on the roof of China Air Lines Saigon house. The unit I belonged to had a contract with the air line for missions the USAF wouldn’t fly. By the time we were through “gambai-ing” the Chinese hosts in the wee hours, a major had set himself on fire when the rice brandy in his glass spilled and ran down his forearm and a man next to him lit a cigar. The blue flame was spectacular. There was later a rumor that someone who looked a little like me was observed standing on one of those round tables declaiming free verse at 0400. The whole thing was rather like the party in Frazier’s story “The General Danced at Dawn.” pl

  19. Cold War Zoomie says:

    “There was later a rumor that someone who looked a little like me was observed standing on one of those round tables declaiming free verse at 0400.”
    We’ll mark that one as your campaign speech. Check.
    You know it’s a good party when someone gets set on fire and everyone just sits there enjoying the show! And I have a sneeking feeling that you’ve got more of those under your belt than I do.
    My comment left out a lot during the “in between.” Sadly, no-one was set alight by a pesky naked flame. One thing I learned that night, however, is that it isn’t fun waking up on a bus trying to figure out:
    1. How you got there;
    2. Where you are going.
    Tks for letting me reminisce…cheers….

  20. Will says:

    McClellan’s problem in the general election was that his name was devilishly difficult to spell. All those L’s and C’s. Further, there has never been a Mc or Mac president. Lang would not face the difficult name spelling problem but in the eyes of some voters “Lang” would be too French sounding. Langley or Langston might be a good name change.
    The McClellan kid never grew up, never had an opportunity. Entered West Point at age 14 or 15. Finished second in his class. Was cautious in battle, timid, always overestimated the enemy numbers and let the opponent get away. Contrast with young Custer who finished dead last in class rank and never let fear of being outnumbered bother him, throwing himself at the head of his troops recklessly in battle.
    “Little Mac” was essentially an engineer at heart. An organizational and logistical genius. Stringing fortifications, railroads, inventing a saddle named after him, surveying harbors, but no Hannibal, Lee, or Guderian.

  21. DH says:

    Ah, yes, nothing quite like declaiming free verse when snockered.
    I propose the red fox for the mascot.

  22. retired history teacher says:

    Since you’re talking Civil War, I had the impression awhile back that you are no fan of Phil Sheridan. I would love to hear why. Thanks.

  23. jonst says:

    I watched Burns Civil War this afternoon. (could not bear to watch the NYGiants anymore). There was an episode that covered Gen Pope being relieved after the 2nd Battle of Bull Run. He was replaced by recycling McClellan. Anyway, Shelby Foote quotes Lincoln, commenting on Pope, that after being told Pope was a “liar and a braggart”. Paraphrasing Foote, Lincoln responded,” ‘I know the the Popes from back in Illinois. They’re all liars and braggarts. I don’t know why being a liar and a braggart should disqualify one from being a general’. (a comment I agree with by the way) Today, if any public official said that, or anything even remotely like it…they would be run out of office. They would not last a week. Look at the last 4 years. We’ve become, to a great extent, a nation of flag waving children.

  24. Sidney O. Smith III says:

    If you become prez, here’s some unsolicited advice from the State of Georgia (Jawja). Much will depend one whether or not we have launched a pre-emptive attack on Iran before you become prez. If we have, then I suggest the Pheonix as a symbol because that is what our nation will have to do…rise from the ashes of our US Constitution set to flames. In addition…
    1. Consider nominating Bulldawg Fitzgerald as US AG, with the intent of initiating war crimes investigation/prosecution against OSP crowd.
    2. Consider Sen. Hagel for SecDef. Maybe Sam Nunn for your inner loop.
    3. Restore methodology of strategic intel back to the Anglo-American tradition based upon the work of Sherman Kent. Create institutional mechanisms that will prevent intelligence community from adopting the Straussian idea of the noble lie and “taking off from the wish.”
    4. Establish US military doctrine where ideally US military force cannot project further than optimal point of humint.
    5. Expand Powell Doctrine where all of the US population — including civilians — must contribute and sacrifice if nation decides to go to war. No more of this idea — aka lie — of bombs and butter.
    5. Express your intent to have Congressional hearings on USS Liberty incident. Need to close the book on that one, one way or the other. It’s a powerful symbol.
    6. Kick all lobbyists out of DC. No exceptions. AARP, NRA, and, yes, AIPAC. All of them. Representative gov’t only works if elected officals represent the people from their district and no one else. (Back during Cold War, Soviet Marxists argued that internal corruption from lobbyists would spell the end of the USG).
    7. Create better relationship with Russia, assuming it is in our national interest as it is now.
    8. Begin to shift foreign policy focus from a East-West to North-South perspective. Muy Bien! The Salvadorean gang MS-13 and the like are a major threat, especially if there is a breakdown in American society due to imperial war. This shift in focus is going to happen anyway as Hispanic influence increases. Besides, to implement 1-7, your gonna’ need La Virgen de Guadalupe.

  25. Bobo says:

    As to the Shmoo, while useful in may may ways I’ve always thought it was more appropriate to Arkansas or West Virginia than the stately state of Virginia. Even Al would never consider Dogpatch part of the “Mother of Presidents”.
    After perusing a list of Virginia’s Rare Animals (vertebrates and invertebrates) I believe one of the following could be utilized for your needs.
    Shenandoah Needlefly
    Blue Ridge Stonefly
    Roanoke Logperch
    Tidewater Mucket
    Confused Cloudywing
    Frosted Elfin
    Guess my choice.

  26. W. Patrick Lang says:

    On further reflection, I have decided that the hellgramite might be appropriate from among our native fauna. john warner asked me once if I kew one was. I thought that a suitable test of authenticity. pl

  27. Homer says:

    OT: Israeli attacked Syria
    Mystery airstrike on Syria boosts Israeli military
    MYSTERY still surrounds an apparent airstrike by the Israeli air force on Syria earlier this month, with neither Tel Aviv or Damascus revealing any details about the operation.
    Official Muzzled on Syria Attack BY AMY TEIBEL
    The Associated Press
    Sunday, September 16, 2007; 8:52 PM
    JERUSALEM — Israel’s chief of military intelligence was ordered Sunday not to discuss an alleged air raid on Syria before a powerful parliamentary panel, tightening the veil of secrecy the government has thrown around the issue.
    Foreign news reports have suggested that Israel struck a Syrian site designed to make non-conventional weapons, possibly a nuclear installation built with North Korean help.
    Sep 17, 2007 0:53 |
    Yadlin: Israeli deterrence restored By YAAKOV KATZ AND SHEERA CLAIRE FRENKEL
    American officials confirmed the air force raid last week, and foreign news reports have suggested that Israel struck a Syrian site that contained nonconventional arms, possibly nuclear weapons from North Korea.

  28. Montag says:

    Sidney O. Smith III,
    The Phoenix was the symbol of the Greek Military Junta of 1967-74. I was in Greece in 1972 and that monstrosity (the symbol had a soldier in the foreground “guarding” the Phoenix) was on everything! Those cruds gave “a government of Colonels” a bad name. They lost power when Greece was humiliated by the Turkish invasion of Cyprus due to their shennanigans.
    I’ve come up with a slogan for the campaign–“I’m Standing Pat!”
    Does the Campaign have to file fiancial reports with the Federal Elections Commission if all contributions are in Confederate money?

  29. Sidney O. Smith III says:

    Thanks for your response. IMO, your motto — “I am standing Pat” — would make a great bumper sticker.
    The Phoenix is the symbol of Atlanta — the city that rose from the ashes. It is the city seal and is part of the Atlanta Police Department uniform. Yesterday, I was walking down Peachtree with my lady friend and noticed that the symbol was on all the light posts. Everywhere you look, you see the emblem of the Phoenix and the word “resurgens”. So basically I decided to just throw it out there for consideration because I decided our foreign policy threatens to turn our US Constitution into ashes. At some point, we may have to start all over again. Hope not.
    Actually, if we don’t unleash a pre-emptive attack on Iran, we may have a chance, at least from what I can glean from these website.
    Re: Confederate money. With the way the USD is plummeting — perhaps because of the USG’s foreign policy — the Confederate dollar may be worth more as a currency of exchange before it is all over with!!! Hope not again.
    Just my opinion, but I do think it would help matters if someone in the military today did something akin to what Longstreet reportedly did at Gettysburg — point to Iran and say “if we go there, we are going to suffer the modern day equivalent of Pickett’s last charge”. That of course is based upon the assumption that a pre-emptive attack on Iran would be a disaster.
    Is General Petraeus a Longstreet type? I don’t know. Just a civilian opinion, but he comes across as a good man. When I read his COIN manual, I thought the quality of writing was superb but there’s a catch. From a civilian perspective the quality of writing came across as the equivalent of a legal brief written by a partner in a NY law firm whose overriding goal was to become the managing partner. That kind of goal is great — and you need that kind of brilliance to win, in my opinion — but that doesn’t makes him a Longstreet. In fact, it may rule him out as a Longstreet.
    Admiral Fallon may be closer to the Longstreet type but that’s just a guess.

  30. kim says:

    i like it,strong slogan,
    maybe mine can go on the back of the t-shirts.

  31. James Pratt says:

    If McClellan had given speeches it would have been an opportunity to ask him about the disastrous Peninsular Campaign and how the Battle of Antietam was barely won by the Army of the Potomac at great cost when he had General Lee’s order of battle in his hands because of a Confederate courier blundering into a Union patrol.

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