Introducing the adult juice box… Excelsior! – TTG

Let’s be honest. This is not on the same level as the fusion energy and laser technology breakthroughs that Harper writes about. However, the adult juice box is another “clear reminder that human beings are capable of creative solutions to seemingly impossible challenges."


Two years ago, a couple of retired Coast Guard dudes established a small brewery within walking/staggering distance of my home. A divine blessing, indeed! The Barley Naked Brewing Company is a 3.5 barrel brewhouse and taproom which is packed every night it is open. Food is provided by a wide variety of local food trucks. Business is booming… or it was until the coronavirus lockdown hit Virginia. 


All was not lost. Coast Guard ingenuity was not to be deterred. The brew barrels kept brewing. Instead of selling beer by the glass in the small, crowded taproom, the brewmaster continued to sell beer by the growler at the door. A food truck is still stationed in the parking lot whenever Barley Naked is open. Life remains defiant in the face of calamity. Now this excellent range of microbrews is available in a 64 ounce, refillable adult juice box. You even get a new straw every time you get it refilled. Life is not just good. It is magnificent.



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19 Responses to Introducing the adult juice box… Excelsior! – TTG

  1. Terence Gore says:

    Creative solutions Contact tracing in below video link
    My first questions is why do you need army of kids called contact tracers when a super computer and a few techies could probably do it more accurately?
    My second question if it is so widespread, could you link anyone to anyone if one chose to?
    How would abuse of the system be prevented? If there was a political need to imprison someone (quarantine) how could the powerful be staved off?

  2. Fred says:

    Sounds like a nice place, and growler would sure wash down some good grub. If you wander down ’95 to FLA, take your wife to the Columbia Restauraunt in St. Augustine, great Spanish/Cuban food. Then take another day trip passing Daytona Beach on the left and head out to New Smyrna and make one more turn to the South. You’ll find JB’s Fish Camp just before the North Entrance to Canavaral National Sea Shore. Rent some kayaks and paddle part of the Indian River to work up an appetite. Head back to JB’s and have a cup of gumbo and some grouper or rockcake and wash it down with a couple of Beach Hippies from Persimmon Hollow Brewing over in Deland. Say hi to Hailey, Bryan and Nikki for me. The Key Lime Pie is home made and just as good as in Key West.

  3. Terence,
    Your questions have nothing to do with beer, but here goes. Computers and techies only work if all people carry those damned smart phones. I know a lot of people are hooked on those, but some of aren’t. You couldn’t pay me to carry one. You might as well wear an RFID equipped ear tag. I bet a lot of old timers and homeless populations don’t carry them, either.
    The goal of contact tracing is to find those social butterflies who are unwittingly infecting others and isolate them until they’re no longer contagious. This isn’t a six degrees of Kevin Bacon game.
    The only way this could be abused is if authorities willfully and wrongfully branded someone a “Typhoid Mary” and quarantined them against their will. The more likely way this could be abused is if smart phone-based tracking software is used long after it is needed. Really, if you don’t want to be tracked, don’t carry the damned thing. Short of that, we need to push manufacturers for more secure phones and push Congress for better privacy laws.

  4. Fred,
    I like Saint Augustine. I first went there on a family vacation in the 1963 to 1965 timeframe with my father driving the old Chrysler Newport wagon down from Connecticut. The next time was in a 1995 SMU exercise. Spent two weeks in the area. That Columbia Restaurant looks pretty upscale, but awfully good. JB’s looks more familiar to me. I’ve been to a few places like that from Deerfield Beach and south along A1A. Good eating at all of them. We had a restaurant chain up here that experimented with a beachy-theme casual seafood place. It became one of our favorite local eateries until corporate decided it wasn’t what they wanted. It wasn’t near as good as those Florida coast places, but they had a Key Lime pie that was out of this world. We ended up buying whole pies from time to time.
    Are you living down there now or just spending the winter there?

  5. Fred says:

    I was over in Orlando a couple years ago and stumbled upon the place. JB’s is the only place on that end of the Island and has been there since the ’70s. The national sea shore on that end of the island is little jem, a good boat ramp near the gate and another 5 miles south before the roadway ends. The whole area is getting a bit filled with Northern retirees but still has plenty of native Floridiians. Boston Whater’s are built nearby in Edgewater, another interesting bit of trivia.

  6. Fred says:

    “If there was a political need to imprison someone (quarantine) how could the powerful be staved off?”
    You are catching on that the left is doing that to healthy Americans under the guise a this virus?
    “how could the powerful be staved off?”
    Let me suggest stop voting for democrats. Running for office would be a good choice too.

  7. Wally Jones says:

    “Adult Juice Box”. Now that’s what I’m talking about!
    As long as America is still filled with Americans, the Republic shall survive.
    Yankee ingenuity wins the day again!

  8. BillWade says:

    The original “Columbia” restaurant is in Ybor City (Tampa). It was Cuban owned but Santos Traficante (Italian mob boss for Tampa/Florida) had a large financial interest in it. It’s a great restaurant renowned for top-notch wait service and delicious seafood and Cuban specialties. I’m not sure if he’s still there but across the street from the Columbia was a world famous tile painter who’s Vietnamese. I’ve been to the Columbia in Tampa several times for special occasions but have never been to any of the newer off-shoots that have sprung up around Florida. I’ve heard they are as good as the original.
    There are rumors that our local Port Charlotte/Punta Gorda restaurants will be opening soon, just as the protein shortage kicks in. Hopefully, seafood will be in abundance. I can’t wait myself.

  9. BillWade says:

    Here’s the interesting history of the Columbia, Florida’s first restaurant:

  10. Stele says:

    @TTG: “Short of that, we need to push manufacturers for more secure phones and push Congress for better privacy laws.”
    There are finally useable Smartphones with pure GNU/Linux on the horizon.
    Even with hardware kill switches for modem and radios.
    The pinephone from Pine64 seems to be the most promising, and it is very very cheap for around 150$.
    Early versions are already shipping, and final version should release in the next months.
    Different distros that are optimized for the form factor are in very active development, and already looking promising.
    There is also the Librem 5, but it is very expensive in comparison, and the company behind it (Librem) seems desperate for cash according to former executive.
    After failed Firefox OS, WebOS, Ubuntu Phone and others, this year will finally be the year of a full FOSS mobile without privacy invading software.
    Only non-FOSS software is partly the closed source firmware of the modem and radios, and some other components AFAIK.
    But it is a huge leap forward, and there is hope for fully open source firmware SoCs in the future.

  11. Stele,
    That Pine64 sounds very attractive. Those hardware kill switches sell it for me. I’ve also been a big fan of open source software. Someday I’ll have to replace my old, pay-as-you-go burner flip phone. Something like the Pine64 is a likely candidate.

  12. nightsticker says:

    I see the Barley Naked Brewery
    every day. It is about a 3 minute
    drive from my house in Windsor Forest.
    When this is all over I will give their
    product a try.

  13. Nightsticker,
    They made an oatmeal stout last year call Belleau Wood appropriately released on November 10th. When this is all over, we’ll have to meet there.

  14. nightsticker says:

    Roger that.

  15. optimax says:

    Those were made for sneaking beer into football games. Security will think it’s just another guy with a beer belly.

  16. Optimax,
    We used wine botas for things like hockey games, concerts and lecture classes. I can see the evolutionary line.

  17. Marko says:

    A pint bottle of Georgia’s Red Rooster peach wine served well for getting into sporting and music events.

  18. Peter Williams says:

    The origin of the plasticised bag for storing alcoholic beverages –

  19. optimax says:

    For us it was Mad Dog: Wine of the Century. The bottles flat and narrow sides were designed for smuggling into sports events. 20% alcohol was another selling point. It looked and tasted like cough syrup. We didn’t care.

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