In the spirit our enduring lightheartedness here, ( I am weary of Egypt, Syria, Palestine, etc.) I offer you the spectacle of a hunt by "professional" hunters and trappers from West Virginia (something like Auvergne in France) for the supposed large bipedal primate known variously in the US and Canada as Sasquatch. In Ohio it is the "Grassman."
This stalwart crew pursued the beast in Perry County in eastern Ohio, a place much like their own. Their chatter abut traps, lines of least resistance, the need for running water, etc. rings true to an old hunter.
Their adventure is recorded on the "Destination America" channel on a program called "Mountain Monsters."
Basilisk and I have decided to volunteer to join the group. We would fit right in. TTG and Alan Farrell could as well but would have to "fill out" some. pl
I’ll go! Probably have to fill a REMF slot.
I used to make a pretty good pot of camp coffee.
And I was a hell of a mule packer a few decades ago.
A wonderful lady from an old farming family here in Oklahoma told me first hand that they (her family) had a ‘community’ of what ever they were living in a quarry area on their large farm. The older lady who told me this is known for her truthfulness, said that when she was a little girl she used to go up to the quarry area and play with their little ones. She said that their adults were always gentle and kind to her and encouraged the playing between her and their little ones. Her father told her over and over again to stay away from that area and to ‘leave them alone’, needless to say she told me that she did not listen to her father and continued to play with them on into her late teens.
I highly recommend the norwegian movie “Trollhunter” for tips on gear and technique for this sort of thing.
Just checked out some “Mountain Monsters” videos. These guys are awesome! Almost makes me want to spring for cable. I’d enjoy hanging out with these guys in the cold wet woods of WV hunting for god knows what and having the crap scared out of me. Plus, I like the way they dress. Another plus is that if something hungry is chasing us, I am damned sure I can outrun Buck.
Dick T
Trollhunter is one of my favorites. We could feed “Buck” to a troll as bait but the trap builder in MM would have to build something grand. pl
John Minnerath, with your photography skills, we need you out front to capture the proof.
PL , I know you will not shoot him since you gave up blood sports. If you catch him, make him Secretary of State.
Out front!?!
I gave that up as a bad habit, how about I ride in one of those cool monster trucks?
I watched this episode of Mountain Monsters after Pat pointed it our to me. My first thought is the cast, minus fifty or sixty years and a couple hundred pounds could easily stand in for the Army of Northern Virginia at the end. It is remarkable that the mountain barriers of the Appalachians can apparently contain very alien cultures (at least compared to the effete lands of say, the Hamptons, or the LA Basin). You think the “Grassman” is alien? merely look at those who are hunting him (it?).
I think the production values of this series are reasonably high. There are low-light shots and handheld work that is right up there with the “Blair Witch Project.”
As to the “creature,” I cannot say. According to the show there have been reports of such things ever since white men came west of the Blue Ridge in the 18th Century. I watched another one of these “reality shows” called “Monster Quest” on the History Channel, and unless there is collusion between the producers, there seems to be remarkable correspondence in the reported characteristics of the creatures, whether they are called Grassman, Sasquatch, Bigfoot, or whatever. The History Channel maintains that the creatures live on deer, the Discovery Channel is mute on this subject.
The hunters of “Mountain Monsters” maintain that “they could turn and kill us all,” but as far as I see, there is no history of violence toward humans. It is hard to believe that a species couid go largely undetected in the world of ubiquitous cellphone cameras, but the foothills of the Appalachians are not Rodeo Drive, so who knows?
The Colonel wants to join the crew, and I cannot resist, but after watching their muzzle discipline and the omnipresent finger-on-trigger thing, I think I will bring my sniper rifle, I will be in overwatch, just in case Armageddon comes. The “Grassman is supposed to be seven or eight feet in height and weigh 7 or 800 lbs. I am pretty sure I can hit that target every time from a thousand yards, and that is as close as I want to be to that bunch of mountain men stumbling around with shotguns and high-powered rifles.
I have resisted reality TV with all my willpower, but you’ve got to take a look at ths series. It’s way better than C-Span these days.
After all, wouldn’t it be cool if the creatures actually exist?
Secretary of State? Heck no, the Lions could us a good left tackle.
basilisk
they are a bit loose with gun muzzles. bless them. pl
If I’m going to be a get the proof cameraman for this goat roping I’m going to bring my 460 S&W Magnum as back up. You gotta have some back up.
PL, I share your sentiment. You haven’t lived until you’ve stood among a group of wild eyed militiamen firing off celebratory gunfire. Makes you wish you at least wore a helmet.
JM
I have a .357 I would take for close in defense. pl
I got a kick out of that guy carrying nothing but a stout stick ready to whoop up on the eight foot tall grassman. Thinking things through is clearly overrated.
I’d venture to say you could use an experienced cryptozoologist with you, gentlemen. The site link below might help find one to your liking (lot of Squatch aficionados posting there):
http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/cz-career/
I’m pretty sure Grassman is an old dorm-mate of mine from Ohio University from my sophomore year, 1970. He had long curly dark hair and an extremely hairy body. After his girlfriend broke up with him, he never showered and laid in bed all day stoned on weed, listening over-and-over to the Stones “Let It Bleed” album. We called him Grassman and he never even left his room to eat at the cafeteria but ordered Dominoes Pizza everyday, the empty boxes piling up on the floor until the delivery man could only open the door wide enough to slide the box through sideways.
We had to call the fire department to break down his door when we realized he hadn’t order pizza for over a week. A month later he was sited living in a cave above the Hocking River. A couple of us went in search of Grassman and found his cave. He wasn’t there but there were a few pizza boxes and he must have depleted his finances because there was a skinned squirrel roasting on a spit over hot embers. We heard dry leaves crunching behind us but when we turned we couldn’t tell if it was a deer or a hairy, naked wild man running from us through the woods. We were pretty sure it was Grassman.
I guess he never did get over what’s her name.
optimax
Try to remember her name. Maybe we could lure him in with that. pl
While in Perry County, be sure to visit Nelsonville, in nearby Athens County. It has a special art event:
On the final Friday of every month (excluding December), galleries and retail shops on Nelsonville’s Historic Square stay open late to feature special art events.
http://www.athensohio.com/whattodo/final-fridays-on-the-square
“From 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm, enjoy artists’ demonstrations, art chats, artists at work in their studios and openings of new art exhibits, plays, and musical shows. Watch drum circles, street musicians, dancers, and other sidewalk entertainment amidst artists & craftspersons selling their wares.”
Birthplace of Sarah Jessica Parker, of Sex and the City Fame, there are creatures to stalk in Nelsonville, though perhaps not as rowdy as Grassman.
I discussed you post with my mother and sister, neither of whom knew of him. But then the conversation turned to coyotes and black bears, both of which can be found.
Col
Her name was Ruby Tuesday. Be careful about using her name as bait; it might send him into a homicidal rage.
DK
I’ve passed through Nelsonville many times on my way to OU. It has changed a lot since then. Lancaster had a restaurant owned by Lou “The Toe” Grozza.
Perry County Ohio is the home of New Straitsville where they hold the annual Moonshine Festival. Positioning your forward operating base near a supply of moonshine will greatly increase your probability of seeing ole sasquatch (and probably a lot more). I agree that Nelsonville is fun on the right nights, and be sure to look at Stuart’s Opera House. If you get to Athens to party with the college students, take the hunting party to dinner at Casa Nueva and/or Purple Chopstix.
I never thought an old hillbilly would be qualified to comment on this blog, but I’d forgotten the importance of sasquatch.
All:
There is not enough edible plants or small or large animals in this area to support any sizable community of such large mamamls.
A 357 is a little light for 8 foot tall critters, maybe a 44 Mag as minimum.
Speaking of which, in Safeway the other day I walked by my old friend who’s been on a long quest for Bigfoot in the swamps of East Texas, but when I turned around he had vanished into the undergrowth of the herbal tea and organically grown Dorito aisle.
Here in these mountains we don’t have Bigfoot, but the Little People, who have REAL powerful medicine.
I spent my youth in the mountains and forests of Central and Northern British Columbia and the past 20 yrs or so on the West Coast of BC….have seen lots of bear up close along with plenty mooseand deer. Cougar, wolves, goats and sheep t a distancea nd many, many tracks(sans anyhing other than our hominid version…I have met over time some very old an fossilized trappers/prospectors who via ther own experience and networks have no belief in the creatuue…the mythology of Sasquatch has always been there but no bones, teeth,scat, coprolites ever found. Large mammals leave these things around. They don’ exist beyond our collective compulsion to scare/mystify ourselves.
Thank you for this diversion from the ME. It is pouring rain here so a day of Mountain Monsters and Trollhunter is just the ticket seeing as how Oblivion turned out to be a worse movie than Cruise is actor, and after Prometheus and Total Recall, need a scifi break.
Please do not shoot the Grassman, by name alone we must be related. Further, Pat, to whose expertise I defer, upon viewing a scenic photo accidentally composed so as to capture a foot in the foreground, responded with a singular inquiry as to the Sasquatchian nature of my admittedly hairy – and smoky – scene.
To which I replied: “I am the Sasquatch” forwarding much hairier and smokier evidence of my claim.
Sadly, if they share my genes my hairy ilk is not immune from the challenges of age, gravity and circumference.
It’ll be an easy hunt.
Happy shooting.
505th PIR
“…no bones, teeth,scat, coprolites ever found.” There has been quite a lot of that found and there are a number of genetecists who think it is a real animal. pl
Charles I
you know I stopped killing non-humans a long time ago. for food and self defense would be exceptions. pl
Col: How does it maintain its population without being found? Since it’s a mammal, there must be at least 2. And why have the sightings never included a mate or a pride? All other apes are social.
Col: This would be a great first line for a novel: “you know I stopped killing non-humans a long time ago.”
matthew
There have been many sightings of family groups, many instances of tracks of different sizes grouped together. It has been found. People refuse to believe evidence in photographs, etc. The most famous of these is in the 1967 film which has been studied endlessly by scientists. Most of them think it is not a fraud. this is evidently a highly intelligent species that fears man greatly and for good reason. An idiot deer hunter in California stumbled across a female and two adolescents last year. He was so shocked that he shot two of the three and then fled without telling anyone of the event. by the time he reported this there was only a small amount of tissue left anfd it was analyzed as a non-human primate. . pl
Col: I’m only skeptical in the sense of wanting more information.
Science is never closed. Other species have been consdiered extinct–and subsequently found.
I hope they do find definitive evidence of this creature.
I read several years ago the confession of the fellow who, together with his friend, created that movie; he rented a gorrila suit and his friend filmed him.
I think it was done in California where many things are fake; visible and invisible.
babak
no, you did not. If you did, provide me a citation. that is nothing like a gorilla suit. pl
I grew up outside a small town farther north than Grassman’s reported home. During a recent visit, I was struck by what seemed to be the reforestation of the area.
As a kid, I spent my days running wild in the forests and fields. I rarely saw wildlife; maybe a deer, fox or raccoon.
Now a deer is unremarkable. During my stay, a large coyote casually passed just inside the forest within 10 yards of our family’s early evening dinner party.
Areas that were open fields are now filled with 20-30 foot trees.
The place has a greater human population today but also more cover for larger wildlife. Interesting development.
Sorry to get all serious here, but….he shot two of these creatures?!!? That is truly despicable. It just pisses me off.
Then, having made the most unfortunate decision to shoot them, he flees and leaves a potentially paradigm shattering zoological discovery just lying there?
Arrrggghhh!
I’m glad he didn’t come across anything else “shocking”, like skinny dippers getting back to nature. I hope they keep that guy locked in a cage during Halloween.
“idiot” indeed. Quite an understatement.
Patrick, you sound like a Zanesville boy?
Have you been to The Wilds?
“The Wilds is a private, non-profit wildlife conservation center located in Muskingum County, Ohio. It is situated on 9,154 acres (37.04 km²) of reclaimed coal mine land and is home to over 25 non-native and hundreds of native species. The Wilds is the largest wildlife conservation center for endangered species in North America and is open between the months of May and October. Formally, the Wilds is incorporated as The International Center for the Preservation of Wild Animals, Inc. (ICPWA).”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wilds
http://www.thewilds.org/default.aspx
I’ve had a couple of these show up at my cabin in northern Wisconsin for years now. At first I thought it was bears that were raiding my bird feeders until a full moon night when I saw one licking the suet out of the little hanger cage. Tried to get pictures with my Bushnell trail cam, but after two of ’em vanished (at $200 a pop) I decided just to enjoy the occasional glimpse. The suet they seem to prefer is Peanut Butter Delight with sunflower seeds followed by Blueberry Passion with safflower, fyi. The reason nobody else sees them is a WWII Ranger came up here in ’46, taught ’em evasion tricks and to bury their dead in disused country cemeteries. Used to run into that old Ranger at Chet’s Bar and enjoyed listening to what I thought at the time were shaggy dog stories about sign language conversations he had with what he called non-native natives a little northeast of here in the roadless tracts where the Navy later put its ELF transmitters. There were a few sightings then by contractor crews but they miss-IDed them as protesters.
hans
“Used to run into that old Ranger at Chet’s Bar” We need coordinates on Chet’s Bar. pl
Sorry for going off-topic, Col., but how is Alan Farrell doing these days?
I saw a pretty good sci-fi/action flick recently and thought WWAFT (What Would Alan Farrell think), which resolved me to check in on him.
A bit of hands-on cryptid background info before the Grassman quest couldn’t hurt. Any potential hunt members feeling up for a short vacation visit to Portland ME?
http://cryptozoologymuseum.com/
45-35’31” N 091-36’05” W
It’s called Bob’s now – Chet had an elevation a few years ago. And sadly, so did Eddie, my Ranger friend, though no one saw him go and there wasn’t any funeral. We suspect his non-native native friends planted him in the old graveyard by Hemlock Narrows where all the big muskies hang out. A few of us were having shots n snits remembering him over the 4th about the time back in the fall of ’89 when some guy from Milwaukee started hanging out at Chet’s, interrupting everybody and stepping on all our best lines. After about three days of that Eddie walked out and drove away and we didn’t see him for a day or two; then he came in and told Mr. Milwaukee he thought there was something wrong with his car. What Eddie had done was hire a couple of the kids that hung out at the gas station across the road to bring him all the stray cats they could catch for $5 each. Then Eddie tied their tails together and threw ’em into Mr. Milwaukee’s Caddy so they could discuss their pedigrees for an hour or so. Mr. Milwaukee did eventually get all the cats out of his brand-new Sedan DeVille even though they were hard to spot all tangled up in the headliner. For a few years we thought the guy might show up again to regale us with stories about the 300 or 400 crappies and sunfish he caught and froze every week but he’s been even scarcer than non-native natives in daylight hours. Too bad, cuz I’ve been wondering what he used to get the cat pee out of the upholstery.
MM
He is sulking in his tent post retirement but he may answer you if he can get the internet to work up there on Stallings Mountain. pl
I was having a nice cold Alaskan Amber when I decide to read this. It’s a good thing I’d set it down, that stuff is too good to spill and it’s hard to sop up from a keyboard.
I think that guy moved out here and hangs out in the Tavern with the rest of the sidewalk outfitters when elk season opens.
Much farther north than Zanesville, Duncan. I’m from the Western Reserve (aka Connecticut Western Reserve).
The Wilds sounds like an interesting project.
Hmmmm, Unlucky Mountain I read, sent a postacrd
I second that question. Surely there is some new Hollywood reincarnation of Briseis that can get him off the mountaintop.
My first attempt to sight Bigfoot was with a friend during out first week long back packing trip in 1967 up beyond Weaverville California. Weaverville at the time was Bigfoot Central with plaster cast Bigfoot prints in front of the local store/post office/ gas station/ ice cream joint.
We had a grand time for a whole week searching for sign. Lots of prints in creek sand and torn up White Gas cans left over from a survey team. We concluded that the prints were probably Bear, but the prints were too long and not round like a Bear print. Found lots of super rusted tools left over from the mining boom in the late 1800s.
The search continues with many a story filling the campfire story time.
optimax,
Do you recall if Lou produced “Chicago” or “NY” style pizza? The scents are distinct.
Here’s a quick and dirty list of the various Pacific NW tribal stories about it. Everybody agrees they are nocturnal. Scent is almost certainly key.
http://www.native-languages.org/legends-bigfoot.htm
I watched that last night, not really sure what to make of it.
I’ll watch it again in a few days and think about it.
http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s16e04-jewpacabra
A distant relative?
this is too much fun not to share… kinda sorta Sasquatish…
and some great finger pickin’ to go with it…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AihvuZiDhsg
That was laugh-out-loud hilarious. Thanks for the great link.
Nice trap cam work on the night shots, too.
hans,
That was great. Thanks for the link. I’m hoping to see a black bear or too in my backyard someday. Right now I settle for a scurry of squirrels and a murder of crows scrambling for the peanuts I throw out every morning.
hans
we were going to meet you at Bob’s after a rendezvous with the original WV team at General McCausland’s grave at Point Pleasant, but now we doubt your sincerity. pl
That was just too cool, I have to get one of those trail cameras.
A friend has one on a place down river from me, he gets no end of fantastic scenes of bears, lions, elk, and even just bunches of deer acting like idiots. Just the other night some damn deer ate every single flower bud on a bunch of hollyhocks. I can usually find grizzly tracks in the mud around any of the springs between my house and the river.
The time-lapse and music go together perfectly.
Mark Logan
I never stopped at Groza’s but did down a few Rolling Rocks at Club 33, a.k.a. Dirty Thirty.
Never heard of Grassman before but a place outside of Athens called Mt. Nebo was rumored to have sightings of Jesus and occult ceremonies. In the 1850s a well known family of spiritualists lived there, built a cabin for the spirits that played music, drew pictures and shot guns. People came from far away to experience these shows. http://tinyurl.com/kjkxdxw
In the same area was a place called Liars Corner. It was a group of old farmhouses at a bend in the road with a hand painted sign which read: “Liars Corner. Pop. 6. That’s a lie!” There were a couple of chairs next to the road where the “towns” citizens would swap whoppers with anybody willing to join them. I never saw anybody outside the few times I drove by but am sure they would have had some good stories about Grassman.
Athens attracted unique characters and I enjoyed my stay there.
TTG: The trick to attract your target species is to put out snacks that are too challenging for the littler creatures. For lions and bears it’s best to use half-cooked pelvises from good-sized steers; they’re the only critters hereabout able to crack those bones. Use pig hips if you’re after lynx. Wolverines will take anything but they leave no traces, and that’s the tell. We cook our offerings a bit to improve the ambrosia, speed things along and cover our scent, and that of the Wild Turkey. People who shower and drink lemonaide don’t necessarily have to do that but need to be aware even apex predators sometimes make trivial mistakes.
Aww, you all should reconsider – we’re planning a cookout right after the tree eel season wraps up and Helmut’s blueberry brandy is ready. Kicks off at noon and afterward we sit on picnic tables under the 80′ white pines beside Cedar Creek (if it’s snowing we can help ourselves to Clarence’s woodpile – that brandy is an excellent starter) and contemplate contemplation.
hans,
I also throw out a cut up apple and a carrot every evening out by the bird feeder aimed at the deer and rabbits. My next door neighbor doesn’t have a garden so it doesn’t bother anybody. One evening I came face to face with a large for this area, black faced doe. She gave me the occasional stare while she ate apples and birdseed, before ambling off behind the shed and the woods beyond. That black face staring at me was somewhat eerie. There was some powerful juju behind those big eyes.
I’m pretty sure staking out a half cooked cow’s ass in my backyard would would draw the wrath of my home owners association. I can see the letter:
Dear Homeowner,
During a recent community inspection tour, we noticed you have a half cooked cow’s ass staked out in your backyard. We are pained to inform you that this is in contravention of our homeowner’s aesthetic standards and may affect your and your neighbor’s home value. Please remove said cow’s ass within ten days of receipt of this letter.
Oh well. That’s the price I pay for being able to hook up to county water and sewers.
All
Go to Google News/sasquatch for two new videos fm the NW. pl
Oh lord, I can see it now. Well, running water and indoor plumbing IS nice in the winter.
You could come out here and stake out a whole damn cow, cooked or raw. Bring a good stout log chain. The background noises at night would come right out of The Ghost and the Darkness.
Then again, it could be just a couple racoons arguing over who’s turn it is to steal the cat food.
Meanwhile the dog looks at me with one eye and wants to know if I’m going to go out and settle things.
Looks like a juvenile. If there is one place anything could be and remain unnoticed, it would be the Canadian coastal range just to the north of there. If it’s not raining, it’s snowing. Most of it is too steep to log.
Optimax. He’s roughly on the physical and travel time-line between the coastal range and the Columbia Gorge Amphitheater, where Black Sabbath plays Aug. 24th. Your missing friend strikes me as a possible fan.
all
http://www.theprovince.com/news/Video+Bigfoot+spotted+Mission+forest+Chinese+tourists/8733739/story.html
pl
TTG,
I can sympathize. Bud Strope, an old friend, bought a condo and moved to town and his Assoc. got all over him for burying fish guts in that tiny flower bed behind his garage. Wasn’t so much that as the coyotes that dug it up. Then the coyotes discovered how tasty miniature poodles and yorkies are. Clarence offered Bud his boathouse until the lawsuits settle. This weekend we’re all going over to insulate it, run an extension cord down from the barn and fix up a milkhouse heater in the outhouse.
Sasquatch is intelligent enough to know Chinese tourists don’t carry guns, only cameras. That tour bus company will have to buy more busses because of the future flood of Chinese tourists wanting to photograph Sasquatch. Great marketing.
I used to fly along the BC coast often going between Seattle and Anchorage for work.
Some seriously wild looking country, never got to see any of it from the ground.
ML
I think my old friend is still recovering from the Sasquatch Festival held earlier at the Gorge Amphitheater. He was the guest of honor.
http://tinyurl.com/moq8zgm
Mountain men..I use to like that show but they are a bunch of idiots. First off..they are suppose to be skilled hunters..if they hear something they freak out like a bunch of little girls, and they make too much noise in the woods to be able to catch, or spot anything.