So Miss Ukraine, come on over. I’ve got just the place for you; temporarily of course. Even though Joe say’s we’ll all be starving soon , I know a place that will put meat on your bones. Which is good, since you are a bit on the thin side. I guess that comes with that beef free Euro diet. Apparently everybody over there believes in eating climate change meals.

What you need is just what that great American, Mr. Buffet (Jimmy), sang about: America’s favorite food, a Cheeseburger in Paradise. No not that over cooked, overpriced thing from OK Boomerville, naw. You need the real thing. And I’m your guy. But only for 3 days. As Mr. Franklin so wisely advised us. No, no, not because of fish, that tournament isn’t until next weekend. But if you want some sushi, I can help you make Biden’s Best. It’s low calorie.

But for that burger, you better come quick. Once Mr. Z goes on the offensive against that evil guy who caused so much trouble for so many people, (you know who.); Corruption? What corruption. Once Z get’s going, it’s going to get tough for the those people. Which means I’ll have to keep some space available for that other soon to be Refugee, Miss Russia. No, no. Not her, the other one. That one’s still date’n Vlad, and that’s one guy I don’t want made at me, as you will certainly understand.

Yes, there is one thing worse: that would be to get the “big guy” pissed off. He might talk to a prosecutor and the next thing you know, there goes the yacht. 

Which might be a good thing. I haven’t finished training my crew on hoisting the mainsail on the Sloop John B. I do think they’ve got the ‘shiver me timbers’ part down pat though. I’m sure you could teach’m a thing or two. Which will help you work up an appetite for some real, all American, meat. Something wielded by a master.

No, no, not that guy. He’s the Master of the Nothing Burger. He couldn’t find the real thing even with millions of dollars and a team of Harvard’s best. They couldn’t even find dirt on Putin’s puppet.

Take it from me, you can’t fool Americans with Fake News fake beef.

This is America, and beef, it’s what’s for dinner. And what you need, is a real SOB. Yes, a real, juicy mouthwatering masterpiece, created by an expert. When it comes to SOBs, I am your man. 

Mmmm. Don’t tell me you’re a vegetarian? That’s ok, this is America’s premier indirect vegetable, served with lettuce, tomato and onion; on the side of course. The original “side salad”. Nobody talks about this. And fries. It’s not a real burger without fries. And bacon. Gotta have bacon.

So give me a call at 8675309. Just kidding. Call BR549, ask for Junior. First burger is on me. 

It’s the real thing. Just like that laptop.

post by Fred

This entry was posted in Fred, Gastronomie, Humor, Justice, Politics, Ukraine Crisis and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Refugees

  1. JovanP says:

    Dear Fred, please be careful, there is a thin line between trying to help, falling in love and working for the ,,enemy” (Gogol’s book Taras Bulba comes to mind). Maybe it’s good to invite Miss Russia as well. Just in case. 🙂

  2. Whitewall says:

    My goodness what inspirational photos! Thanks. Music references are solid too.

  3. Leith says:

    Great fun Fred. I heard that the Russian cosmonauts decided to undock the Soyuz from the ISS and return home because they didn’t like NASA’s veggie burgers. They wanted something ‘meteor’.

    Off topic, as a former submariner can you figure out what is going on with this boomer boat?

    Old pic, nothing to do with current events in the Ukraine. But inquiring minds want to know. Is this an over-pressured or ruptured ballast tank? Or could it be going thru an established maintenance or test procedure? Once righted will the missiles still launch correctly after laying on their sides?

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