Looks like you are as ready as you’ll ever be. So here goes.
As a famous military deserter once said “We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.” Wise advice from someone who didn’t have the back of his brothers in arms.
Now those ‘onspiracy theorists, you know, the ones that keep asking about vax side effects, Where is Ray Epps, or what about nuclear secrets. Right now they are saying, oh, look another batch of classified documents after that raid on Mar-a-Lago? Wait, what, that’s at Biden’s House? Oh, there’s a fourth batch? Hmm.
As for me, I wonder who was listed in those visitor logs these past two years, what about during Obama’s term in office or when he was out of it, and is a cardboard box in a garage really an SCIF? But back to important news: Gas stoves cause indoor air quality problems! Really, it took the CPSC fifty years and zero studies to figure that out? And here I thought I only had to worry about the light bulb bureaucracy, and the shower nozzle bureaucracy, and the IRS.
Now over in Europe, the land we have to defend to the last billion, the folks in the Netherlands have determined that Cows emit NO2, and that might cause us some ‘global warming’, aka climate change we can believe in. Which means “Beef, it’s what’s for dinner?” isn’t on the menu. But getting rid of cows is. You Californians are probably wondering, “didn’t all that land reclaimed from dredge and fill operations create all that land (behind those seawalls) that said cows are roam’n and emitt’n on?” Yep, sure did. I wonder who is gonna get punished for the destruciton of all those wetlands?
But back to NO, or at least NO2 (not be be cofused with no squared). You know what else emits NO2? Cats. Indoor cats especially. That makes them major contributors to indoor air quality problems. Now don’t blame me, that’s Science! Unconfirmed and unsubstantiated science, based on a hypotheses. Like Unconsicous Bias, only with less racism, and a lot less money coming to said hypothesis creator’s pockets. (Note to self, get the grant first before publicizing the Science! A corporate sponsorship would help, too.)
This hearsay air quality problem can only be handled one way: Ban cats.
That’s right, ban the cats. To save the children. Wouldn’t want any cats stealing baby’s breath, or creating “indoor air quality problems”. It’s for the children. Special exemptions may apply.
Now that is my kind of cat. Any cat that can hold his own (note the pronoun) against a pair of cat ladies, while using the Oxford comma, is a cool cat in my book. Really, he’s 2A okay with me.
Now for you dog lovers out there, just remember, this gas stove story was just a ‘squirel!’ to distract you.
From Biden’s Boxes of Docs for Bejing. Air America grounded (Thanks “Mayor Pete) and the zero oversight on the billions more for Voldemort Zelinsky. Or what happened on J6 and don’t you dare look at what’s going on in Venezuala II, aka Brazil. (Or the price of eggs for your omlet for Sunday brunch.)
When the old fuddy duddy media finally gets around to telling you that that dog don’t hunt, just remind them.
That dog sure does. Why he went and hunted up some sunshine! (The sun, causing global warming for 5 billion years now. Trust the Science!) Got tired doin’ it too. Good boy! Man’s best friend.
Now you and I know that the important thing about sunshine, is where you direct it. Like when you release 14,000 hours of J6(!) Video. Or ask what is happening in Davos that they need 5,000 armed guards (unlike what Pelosi wanted in D.C.); or ask what is happening in Afghanistan, or Tijuana; Or ask anything about the money flow from the US Congress – Ukraine – FTX – NGOs – political donations in the US – (don’t you dare bring that up) – kind of sunshine.
And don’t you dare read any of the “Twitter files” to find out what the FBI Director (soon to be in Davos via private jet) and his organization were getting Twitter to do in 2016. Or the CDC, or any other branch of the federal government. Sunshine, a great disinfectant. Just like Trump said.
Hunting up some sunshine definitely makes you a Good doggie.
And that, my dear readers, is the Cat’s Meow.
posted by Fred